


1-800-gay-panic

by msnonstop



Series: the other fifty-one [4]
Category: Alexander Hamilton - Ron Chernow, Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Era, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 03:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17093303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msnonstop/pseuds/msnonstop
Summary: labaguette: AHHHHHlabaguette: GAY PANIC





	1-800-gay-panic

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [1-800-did-I-ask](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6214993) by [lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af). 



**the rev set**

_turts, labaguette, disney man, macandme, jemmy_

**labaguette:** mes amis

 **turts:** ye

 **labaguette:** it has come to my attention that i am v gAy

 **disney man:** we already knew this laf

 **disney man:**  where is the update

 **macandme:** as your cousin i can confirm that we already knew this fact

 **labaguette:** but you see

 **labaguette:**  there is this boy i saw in class today

 **labaguette:** and he was so unfAirly adorable

 **labaguette:**  like wHAt

 **labaguette:** who gave him the right

 **turts:** gay distress™

 **macandme:** lol

 **jemmy:** eVERYONE SHUT UP

 **jemmy:** this is more important than your liVEs

 **labaguette:** *offended french scoff*

 **jemmy:** it seems that we have FINALLY found some who can shut thomas the HELL up

 **disney man:** ooooooo

 **turts:** do tell

 **macandme:** jemmY i thought we were frieNDS

 **jemmy:** this little boy comes up to thomas

 **jemmy:** and he’s like shorter than me

 **jemmy:** and just start rIppinG into him

 **disney man:** gET fuckEd jefFERson

 **turts:** james tell me you have a video

 **jemmy:** who do you think i am?

 **macandme:** jemmy don’t you fucking dare

 **jemmy:** jesuscHristhimself.mov

 **disney man:** oh my goD

 **turts:** i am wheeZIng

 **disney man:** i am on the floORRR

 **macandme:** JEMMY I TRISTED YOU

 **labaguette:** oh my GOD

 **labaguette:** it is hiM

 **labaguette:** the pretty one from englisH

 **jemmy:** i got his number his name is alexander hamilton

 **jemmy:** i talked to him after he murdered thomas

 **labaguette:** aHHHHHH

 **turts:** i need to meet this legenf

 **disney man:** legenf

 **macandme:** legenf

 **jemmy:** legenf

 **labaguette:** legenf

 **turts:** sHUt

 **labaguette:** i crave the juice of the coffee bean does anyone want to come with me

 **turts:** ew

 **turts:** dont say it like that

 **turts:** but i canttt :(

 **disney man:** i can :))))))

 **macandme:** i cant i goot finish this paper for wash

 **jemmy:** goot

 **jemmy:** but also i cant come eitherrr

 **labaguette:** LETS GO HERC

 **labaguette:** to THE BEAN JUICE

 **turts:** dont call it tHAT

* * *

 

**the schuylers  + maria + alex**

_elesbian, angelikick your ass, pleggy, mareyea, smol-spitfire_

**pleggy:** gather round everyone

 **mareyea:** we’re texting peggy

 **pleggy:** shut up maria

 **pleggy:** we have sopmeone to honour toDAy

 **elesbian:** oh god

 **pleggy:** our very own alex hamilton handed THE thOmas jeffeRson his fucking aSS

 **angelikick your ass:** yesssssss

 **elesbian:** kiCk some pretenTious buTT

 **mareyea:** hell yeAH

 **smol-spitfire:** FUCK YEAH I DID

 **pleggy:** it was fucing hilarious because alex was just FUCKING GOIBG AT HIM

 **pleggy:** AND THIS GUY LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING FISH

 **pleggy:** JUST OPENING AND CLOSING HIS MOUTH WITH NO WORDS COMING OUT

 **angelikick your ass:** asjhkleduoadfibweoiushv

 **angelikick your ass:** DYING

 **elesbian:** PROUD MPOTHER CAN BE FOUND HERE

 **pleggy:** mpother

 **angelikick your ass:** mpother

 **smol-spitfire:** mpother

 **mareyea:** mpother

 

 **_elesbian_ ** _changed their screename to_ **_mpother_ **

 

 **mpother:** i embrace my typos unlike you FOOOLs

 **smol-spitfire:** anyways after the whole thing JAMES FUCKING MADISON COMES UP TO ME

 **mareyea:** OH SHIT

 **smol-spitfire:** and he’s like dying and just goes

 **smol-spitfire:** “thaty was fucking great”

 **smol-spitfire:** and im just like

 **smol-spitfire:** “uhhhh”

 **smol-spitfire:** cuz hes a fucking LEGEND

 **smol-spitfire:** and REALLY FUCKING HOT TOO

 **smol-spitfire:** AND THEN WE INTRONDICRE OURSELVES AND EXCHANGE NUMBERS

 **smol-spitfire:** lkshdfruohqfbsdjcohp

 **angelikick your ass:** holy shit you typed all of thst in like three seconds

 **angelikick your ass:** but like

 **angelikick your ass:**  aksjfhowhfwjbroqb

 **mpother:** YESSSS

 **pleggy:** get SOME ALEX

 **smol-spitfire:** apefrwoirnjf

 **smol-spitfire:** peggy NO

 **pleggy:** peggy YES

 **angelikick your ass:** on the other hand

 **angelikick your ass:** are any of you free to go get some coffee

 **smol-spitfire:** ALWAYS

 **smol-spitfire:** I AM A SLUT FOR CAFFEINE

 

 **_smol-spitfire_ ** _changed their screename to_ **_caffeineSLUT_ **

 

 **pleggy:** ahhhh

 **pleggy:** your tru foRM

 **pleggy:** but i cant come :(

 **pleggy:** paper due tomorrow :(((((

 **mpother:** maria and i cant come either

 **mpother:** we have facials that were already scheduled

 **angelikick your ass:** i guess its just me and you then alex

 **caffeineSLUT:**  lets go get my WILL TO LIVE

* * *

 

**the rev set**

_turts, labaguette, disney man, macandme, jemmy_

**labaguette:** AHHHHH

 **labaguette:** GAY PANIC

 **labaguette:** pRETY ALEX IS HERE ATT THE COFFEE SHOP

 **disney man:** laf almost started fucking SCREAMING when we walked in and saw him there

 **disney man:** alsO he is so SMALL

 **disney man:** like i dont think that i understood before btu WOW

 **turts:** go talk to HIM LAF

 **labaguette:** but he’s with a girl what if hes striaght

 **labaguette:** *cries in french*

 **jemmy:** even if he is straight you can still be friendssss

 **jemmy:** besides

 **jemmy:** no man that short is heterosexual

 **disney man:** he goung to do IT

 **disney man:** OH MY GOD

 **disney man:** he almost just PUNCHED LAF IN THE FUCKNG FAC

 **disney man:** LIKE HE WAS SO READY

 **turts:** I AM WHEEZING

 **turts:** I AM DECEASED

 **disney man:** laf: curses in french

 **disney man:** alex: youre not jeffershit

 **jemmy:** JEFFERSHIT

 **disney man:** laf: i am *stupidly long french name i’m not going to write*

 **disney man:** alex: jesus fuck thats a long name. im alexander hamilton.  sorry about almost decking you. i thought you were someone else.

 **disney man:** laf: it’ s okay. he’s my cousin.

 **disney man:** AND SCENE

 **disney man:** because i cant be bothered to type more out

 **macandme:** WOW

 **turts:** LAF IF YOU DONT DATE HIM I WILLL

 **disney man:** confirmed. laf is currently eyefucking hamilton and his lady friend knows eXActly what is going on.

 **disney man:** she is NOT happY

 **disney:** oh shit. the girl is defINTELUY ANGELICA SCHUYLER

 **macandme:** o FUKC man

 **turts:** SHIT GET OUT OF THERE SHE WILL FUCK YOU UP

 **disney man:** alex just went to order and angelica is talking to laf

 **disney man:** this is the end for our dear lafayette. press f to pay respects

 **disney man:** f

 **turts:** f

 **jemmy:** f

 **macandme:** f

 **labaguette:** fuck you hercules

 **labaguette:** you couldve wanrned ME

 **labaguette:** she literally just whispered in my ear

 **labaguette:** “i see you eyefucking him. dont you fucking dare touch him without asking.”

 **labaguette:** like FUCK MAN

 **labaguette:**  i didnt even realize i was doing it

 **labaguette:** ENCULER

 **macandme:**  i once had my ass whipped by angelica schuyler

 **macandme:** its not fun i feellll fpr youuuu

 **labaguette:** but also hEs even cUTER in perSOn

 **labaguette:** he’s likE A liOn

 **labaguette:** and hes younger too hes like seventeen and he’s already a JUNIOR LIKE US

 **labaguette:** hes so smart and passionate

 **labaguette:** AHHHHHHH

 **turts:** youll get through this laf

 **turts:** you just got to be friends with him first

 **jemmy:** yeah he’s liek really smart on like full-ride or something

 **macandme:** wow

 **jemmy:** i think he’s like double majoring too

 **disney man:** that expliains the coffee he bought

 **disney man:** he bought like a huge ass coffee wuth liek eight shots of expreSSO

 **disney man:** EIGHT

 **jemmy:** his little body cant handle thAT

 **jemmy:** truST me

 **jemmy:** once before an exam i pulled an all nighter and i drank a coffee eith six SHOTS

 **jemmy:** i was fyuckng huppoed up on that shit for like WEEKS

 **macandme:** it wa HORRIBLE

 **macandme:** he wouldnt stop talking about liek parrots or whatever weird shit he was stuffing in to his brain

 **labaguette:** he’s drinkoign it and is like bouncing it SO CUTE

 **labaguette:** auhdibfjvawiuos

 **turts:** dont worry laf

 **disney man:** update: laf is out of commision because alex gave both of us his number

 **disney man:** update: laf is now scared for his life becasue angelica gave us her number as weel


End file.
